The pandemic has been hard on everyone . . . even the filthy rich. So, here are The Top 10 Worst Things About Being a Billionaire During the Pandemic . . .
10) The Grubhub guy can’t ever break a million-dollar bill.
9) Inviting women to your private island is a gamble when you can only see the top half of their face.
8) Your facemask won’t stay up because the decorative diamonds are just too heavy.
7) You have to keep your yachts six feet apart.
6) The doctor says poor people tears aren’t a sufficient hand sanitizer.
5) When everyone’s face is covered, you can’t tell the helicopter pilot from the food taster.
4) It’s impossible to find a masseuse willing to work on your submarine.
3) Having to bribe a senator using Zoom.
2) People keep trying to break into your vault full of toilet paper.
1) Getting a vaccine means standing in line with commoners. Ewww!