What If Brands Used Brutally Honest Slogans?

Someone on Reddit asked this question . . . “If brands used brutally honest slogans, what would they be”? Here are a few I thought were pretty good . . . (and appropriate) . . . “Hot Pockets: Every bite is a different temperature.” or  “Altoids: They come with a free box you’ll put junk in.” or “Internet Explorer: A great browser for downloading Chrome.” or how about “Ramen Noodles: You get paid in a few days.”