Signs You’re at a Bad Graduation Ceremony

It’s graduation season. A lot of folks will be attending some type of graduation ceremony this weekend, so I thought we should go over this list of . . . Signs You’re at a Bad Graduation Ceremony:

* Only a few of the kids are actually graduating, the rest just get participation trophies.

* The school was only able to rent out half of the Chuck E. Cheese.

* Each diploma comes with an application to Starbucks.

* You recognize the keynote speaker as your Uber driver that morning.

* Instead of “Pomp & Circumstance”, the kids get their degrees to “Juggalo Homies” by Insane Clown Pose.

* The commencement speaker ends her speech with, “And that’s when I realized the CIA was tracking me through my hair curlers.”