She Should Have Gone To Taco Bell

Add ANOTHER menu item, to the list of “Unlikely Foods You Can Assault Someone With”. 39-year-old Allyson Swan is facing battery charges, for allegedly attacking her wife with a fistful of NACHOS. It happened at their Florida home around 3:00am. Allyson was playing video games in the living room and saw her wife making nachos in the kitchen. The “wife” told police Allyson told her it was too late to eat and made a comment about her WEIGHT, they started arguing, and Allyson attacked her. She grabbed a “handful” of “cheesy nachos”, and shoved them down the back of her wife’s pants, pushed her against a wall, slammed her head into the floor, and used her fingers to FISH-HOOK her by the cheeks, all while telling her SHE was the one in charge. Police were called and they arrested Allyson for domestic battery. She tried to claim her wife was just drunk and rolled around in the nachos after throwing them against a wall, but cops said they found nacho cheese INSIDE the victim’s pants. (Here’s Allyson’s mugshot.)