Can I Interest You In A $13,000 Robot Toilet?

A Chinese company unveiled a “smart toilet” that can DRIVE ITSELF to you, avoiding and navigating around obstacles, even at 3:00am. You use an app to call it over, and when it arrives, you hop on, do your business, and then it keeps you “squeaky clean” with its built-in bidet system. After it’s done all THAT, it goes back to its docking station (like one of those robot sweepers). They’re not available in the U.S. yet, and it won’t be cheap, with a price around $13,000. For that price, it better give me stock tips, mow my lawn, and tell the guy at my door selling insulation I’m not home.