We Have A Pool, And A Pond . . . Pond Would Be Better For You

Tinder just unveiled a new tier for well-to-do users willing to pay $499 A MONTH for access to fellow exclusive users. In other words, NOT you. If you need more reasons you’re too low-end for this high-end service, Check out today’s list of the . . .

Top 5 Reasons You Don’t Belong on “Tinder Select”.

5) You know that “Find a Penny/Take a Penny” tray?  You’re mostly a taker.

4) You own at least one pair of shoes held together by duct tape.

3) The last time you tried withdrawing money, the ATM laughed.

2) You forged the manager’s initials on that yogurt store punch-card.

1) You drive a Tesla . . . because you altered the logo that says “Tercel.”