Highlighted Kahuna 

Signs Your Pet Monkey Has a Drinking Problem

Steve Artressia

Here’s some good news just in time for the weekend! An escaped pet monkey from Indiana has been reunited with his owners. They were able to catch him, after a neighbor saw the monkey drinking beer from a trash can. So we can add “He roots through garbage for a P.B.R” . . . to this list of . . . Signs Your Pet Monkey Has a Drinking Problem.

  • You say, “Banana.”  He says, “Daiquiri.”
  • He was pulled over for weaving on his adorable circus tricycle.
  • He comes home from nights out with Jimmy Fallon and Rudy Giuliani slurring his howls.
  • Instead of nuts, fruits, rodents, or bugs, he just wants Taco Bell at 2:00 a.m.
  • YOU get drunk with him.