Your Dog Probably Wishes You’d “Stop Farting”

Think farts are funny? According to a study, our pets don’t. In fact, they find farts traumatizing, and if they could tell us to stop, they WOULD. Which inspired today’s list of . . . The Top 5 Other Things Your Dog Wishes They Could Say to You Besides “Stop Farting” . . .

#5) Pssst . . . the cat hates you.

#4) Wanna throw a tennis ball until I dry heave?

#3) Just so you know, the dog sitter smokes weed and never walks me.

#2) Dress me up for Halloween again and I’ll kill you in your sleep.

And The #1 Other Things Your Dog Wishes They Could Say to You Besides “Stop Farting”:

#1) The toilet water could use a twist of lemon.