Raj Punjabi and Noah Michelson, the co-hosts of HuffPost’s “Am I Doing It Wrong?” podcast — recently posed to Ryan Martin, better know as the Anger Professor, to find out how to “do anger better.”

‘Never in the history of “calm downs’ has ‘calm down’ calmed down someone.’ So I’m guessing ‘calm down’ is not the thing you want to say.”“I think ‘relax’ is even worse,” Punjabi said.

“This is a case where … people are elevated and they’re not necessarily thinking as rationally, and they’re a little defensive. You’re not going to make as much progress with those sort of direct statements that you want to make.  Telling people to do things like ‘just breathe’ aren’t going to have much of an impact.”   

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/do-anger-better-never-say-2_l_67536ba9e4b0807fc897bc56