An Indiana Stupid Criminal Story:

If you’re easily influenced by food, a thief may not be the occupation for you (???). 55-year-old Alonzo Sansbury was busted after robbing two places within 30 minutes on Friday. First he hit a Dollar Tree, where he first tried to pass a fake $100 bill. He then demanded money from the register. He grabbed the cash and took off, ending up at a Big Lots (this couldn’t be MORE of a stupid criminal story from Indiana), where he stole more cash. THIS time he also swiped a bag of Funyuns on his way out. Police used surveillance footage to connect the two crimes, and were able to catch Alonzo’s license plate . . . which made it pretty easy to track him down. When they found his car, they also saw the bag of Funyuns he stole from the Big Lots. Alonzo was charged with two counts of robbery.