Highlighted Kahuna 

Things the Plaque on the Statue of Liberty Should Say

Steve Artressia

Yesterday we talked about the aging U.S. population. The median age of Americans is now older than it’s ever been. Maybe we need to think about “rebranding” the plaque, on our nation’s “official greeter.” You may recall, it currently reads . . . “Bring me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.” But maybe we need to update it to something from today’s list of . . . Things the Plaque on the Statue of Liberty Should Say, Now That America’s So Old:

  • Hey, get off my lawn!
  • I can’t imagine life without Pat Sajak.
  • How about a Werther’s Original?
  • Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
  • My grandkid was student of the month at Hoover Elementary.
  • The only thing hotter than this torch I’m holding, is my sciatica.
  • And finally . . . I live in New York, but I winter in Boca Raton.