Top 5 Things You Never Want to Hear Over an Airplane Intercom

I don’t know if an airplane at 30,000 feet is the best place for a prank, but whoever’s doing this, disagrees. Someone apparently hacked into the P.A. system on an American Airlines flight from L.A. to Dallas this month. And wouldn’t stop making weird moaning and grunting sounds (they sounded like half-pleasure, half-pain). As terrible as that may sound, it could be much worse. Especially if you hear anything from this list of the . . . Top 5 Things You Never Want to Hear Over an Airplane Intercom.

#5) I need the person in 32B to return his pants to the upright and locked position.

#4) If you look to your right, you’ll see the Grand Canyon.  If you look to your left,  you’ll see a wing on fire.

#3) This flight does not offer Wi-Fi.  But it DOES offer free slide whistles.

#2) We won’t have the use of the lavatory for the duration of the flight, so please  hold on to your coffee cups.

#1) Welcome aboard Spirit Airlines!