A “Stupid Criminal Top 5” List:

A Florida man’s shoplifting spree is going viral. after he got caught hiding a ribeye and a large brisket in his pants. He also shoved a bottle of wine in his pants before he made his getaway (at least he planned for a nice dinner). Employees chased him down and were able to get everything back (although I’m not sure anybody would still WANT them). I thought that would be the perfect Top 5 List”: THE TOP 5 THINGS GETTING BUSTED WITH STEAKS IN YOUR PANTS SAYS ABOUT YOU . . .

#5) “Meat sweat” takes on a whole new meaning.

#4) You looked at cargo shorts and thought, “Not enough storage.”

#3) Your grocery list includes: milk, eggs, and bail money.

#2) You suddenly start referring to their thighs as “the meat department.”

#1) That T-bone shape isn’t convincing anyone.