Steve’s Heartburn for the Day

Brought to you by TR Williams Insurance

Every house has at least three pairs of scissors.

At least… that’s what we all think.

Then one day you need to open a package, cut a coupon, trim a loose thread, or finally get into that impossible plastic packaging. Suddenly every pair of scissors in the house has vanished.

You start the search.

The junk drawer? Nope.

Kitchen drawer? Empty.

Desk drawer? Nothing but pens that don’t work.

You know you bought scissors. In fact, you’re pretty sure you’ve bought several pairs over the years. So where do they go?

It’s like someone borrows them to cut one piece of tape… and that’s the last confirmed sighting.

Eventually you find a pair.

They’re sitting in the garage.

Next to the Christmas wrapping paper.

…In July.

The funny part is every single time we find them, we all make the same promise.

“I’m putting these back where they belong.”

We genuinely mean it.

And somehow, a few weeks later, we’re wandering around the house again asking,

“Has anybody seen the scissors?”

At this point, I’m convinced scissors don’t actually disappear.

They just enter the Witness Protection Program.